Broken Hearts & Broken Credit: The Hidden Relationship Debt Burden Plaguing SA Women

• Broken Hearts & Broken Credit: The Hidden Relationship Debt Burden Plaguing SA Women
• When love becomes debt, Sebastien Alexanderson explores how financial abuse leaves South African women carrying broken credit and heavy repayments long after relationships end.

From financing a partner’s car or business to taking loans for family emergencies, covering household expenses or using credit because “we are building together”, the line between support and financial exploitation can be dangerously blurred. This Women’s Month, debt experts are warning of an insidious form of financial abuse that is leaving an increasing number of South African women heavily over-indebted.

Known legally as coerced debt and categorised under South Africa’s Domestic Violence Amendment Act 14 of 2021as economic abuse, the phenomenon sees abusers use emotional leverage, love bombing, and false promises of shared investments to convince partners to sign major financial liabilities in their own names.

According to National Debt Advisors head Sebastien Alexanderson, the consequences can be severe. Under the National Credit Act (NCA), the person named on the credit agreement remains liable for the debt, regardless of who ultimately spent the money.

“Romantic financial abuse can take several forms, including coerced debt, where a partner is pressured into taking on credit; intimate-partner economic abuse, where money and resources are controlled or drained; romance fraud, where intimacy is used for financial gain; and ‘love bombing’ that escalates into financial exploitation, where intense affection is used to build trust before major financial demands are made,” says Alexanderson.

Prevalence And The Hidden Cost Of “Standing By Your Man”

Global research shows that abuse has been reported in up to 99% of domestic abuse cases, while around one in four survivors of intimate-partner abuse say a current or former partner took out credit in their name or pressured them into borrowing.

“Women are also disproportionately affected, with researchers pointing to gendered expectations around nurturing, loyalty and “standing by your man”, compounded by the difficulty of recovering financially once a relationship ends,” said Alexandrson.

He said victims often become trapped when debt creates both financial and emotional leverage: leaving may mean giving up any hope of repayment, while loans held in the victim’s name can damage her credit record and leave her carrying the legal burden.

“Shame can deepen that isolation, particularly when coercive financial exploitation is dismissed as “bad judgment in love” rather than recognised as a pattern of control and abuse,” said Alexanderson.

Why High Earners Become Targets

High-profile cases, such as medical doctor Dr. Celiwe Ndaba detailing her marital debt coercion, and the criminal entanglements surrounding Dr. Nandipha Magudumana, have brought national focus to how accomplished women fall victim to romantic leverage. Meanwhile, the Hawks continue to flag local romance-fraud syndicates, including an alleged R14 million scheme that was recently brought before the Muizenberg Magistrate’s Court.

Alexanderson said this form of financial exploitation frequently targets stable, high-earning women who are emotionally leveraged under the guise of partnership.

“We regularly consult women who earn good salaries but are close to insolvency after taking out personal loans, maxing out credit cards, or signing surety for a partner’s business venture,” says Alexanderson. “When the relationship ends, and the partner disappears, the credit provider still holds the woman legally responsible for every cent.”

Alexanderson notes that many victims suffer in silence due to intense personal shame, mistaking systemic emotional coercion for a simple lapse in financial judgment.

“This is not just bad money management; it is a calculated form of economic abuse,” Alexanderson explains. “Perpetrators exploit trust to transfer their financial liabilities onto their partner. By the time the betrayal comes to light, whether through infidelity, fraud, or physical departure, the victim’s credit score is already severely damaged.”

How Women Can Protect Their Wealth

To safeguard your financial independence and protect your assets from romantic exploitation, Alexanderson recommends the following:

1. Never Borrow Money on Behalf of a Partner: Under the National Credit Act, there is no legal concept of a “joint personal loan for a partner.” If you take out a loan, you are 100% legally liable for the debt, regardless of who spent the funds or verbal promises made in private.
2. Separate Love from Liability (Get It in Writing): If you choose to lend money from your personal savings or reserves, treat it as a formal business transaction. Draft a legally binding loan agreement stating repayment terms, interest, and timelines, signed by both parties. If a partner refuses to sign an agreement, treat it as a critical warning sign.
3. Beware of “Surety” Agreements: Signing as a co-signatory or guarantor for a partner’s business venture or vehicle financing places your personal assets, including your property and bank accounts, at risk if their business fails or they default on payments.
4. Protect Your Emergency Reserves: Your personal savings, emergency funds, and pension investments are your safety net. Avoid liquidating long-term investments or withdrawing from retirement accounts to fund a partner’s short-term crisis or speculative business ideas.
5. Act Early If You’re Trapped: If an ex-partner has left you with debt, don’t suffer in silence. Economic abuse can be reported under the Domestic Violence Amendment Act. At the same time, a registered debt counsellor can assess whether legal debt relief may help restructure repayments and protect key assets from enforcement.

About National Debt Advisors
National Debt Advisors is a South African debt counselling firm that has helped 109,425 clients since 2014 restructure their debt and work towards financial recovery. NDA works with consumers struggling with unmanageable debt to negotiate reduced payments with creditors and provide a single, manageable repayment plan under the National Credit Act.

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Author: Omega Ngema from Financial Wealth Holdings on behalf of National Debt Advisors.